10 Total Jerk Moves

There are just some things you don’t do in life, and people do them anyway. Whether it’s an accident or not, we’re all guilty of engaging in these total jerk moves.

1. Stealing Your Friend’s Romantic Interests
If you know your friend is interested in someone, you don’t go after them yourself. Everyone knows this. It doesn’t matter if they’re more interested in you than their friend, they are off limits. Boyfriends and girlfriends can ruin friendships before the relationship even gets serious because of this issue. Just don’t do it.

2. Not Engaging In Urinal Courtesy
There is an unspoken rule in male bathrooms that if there is room, you are not supposed to use the urinal right next to one that is taken. That’s just weird. You always leave one between you and the closest person. Of course this rule doesn’t count when the bathroom is packed and there’s a line out the door, but unless you’re at a concert or some similar gathering, that’s not usually a problem. If you don’t engage in this basic courtesy, you’re probably a jerk. And a little creepy.

3. Eating The Last Slice Of Pizza Without Consulting Your Friends
It’s a Friday night and you and your friends are chilling on the couch watching Netflix. Someone ordered a pizza and now there’s only one slice left. Do you take it upon yourself to polish it off, or do you ask your friends if they want it? If you’d just eat it, you’re a jerk. Even if your friends would have said “no” anyway, you should still be considerate enough to ask. (This rule really applies to all shared food.) In this case, it really is the thought that counts.

4. Constantly Asking Friends For Money/Rides
If you’re consistently asking friends if you could borrow some money or asking if they can give you rides, you’re probably a jerk. It doesn’t matter if you’re giving them gas money or paying them back, doing this over and over again makes you look like a leech. Get your sh*t together and adult like the rest of us. Don’t be THAT guy.

5. Inviting Yourself To Parties
Inviting yourself ANYWHERE is annoying, but inviting yourself to a party is especially rude. Why? Because you have obviously done something previously that made people want to keep you out. Perhaps you’re the loud drunk who aggressively flirts with women who don’t want anything to do with you. Perhaps you’re the person who threw up all over the bathroom and didn’t clean it up. Whatever the case may be, don’t assume you’re invited. If you have a question, just ask.

6. Ignoring Someone For Your Phone
If you’re out to lunch with someone, or simply bump into an old acquaintance on the street, you should give them your full attention. If you start playing on your phone – even if you look up occasionally, make eye contact and nod – you’re being rude. You’re telling them that they aren’t more important than a chunk of plastic taking up space in your palm. It’s the ultimate insult and a total jerk move.

7. Always Talking About Yourself
It makes people uncomfortable when you turn any and every conversation into a story about your own life. Sure, it’s nice to hear about your friend’s vacation or latest sexual conquest every once in a while, but if every encounter turns into a “me, me, me – fest” nobody is going to want to talk to you. Even if you’re the coolest person you know, there’s no need for every one of your sentences include the words “I” and “me.” Listen, Linda, listen.

8. Not Covering Your Mouth Properly When You Cough
Illnesses happen. When you’re sick, it’s your job to make sure you don’t transmit your pathogens to other people. Coughing properly is one way to cut down on the number of people who receive your sickness. And for the record, coughing into your hand is not the way to go. In fact, that’s like putting the germs on an express train to another human. Use your elbow or a handkerchief, and wash your hands often. Don’t be the person who is hacking all over your friends and their food because nobody taught you how to cough properly.

9. Stealing Food From Your Friends
Okay, we’re all guilty of this. Our friend gets food, we either don’t have money or don’t have the appetite, but when that plate of fries comes in, you pop one in your mouth without even thinking to ask. It may seem like a little thing, but having the consideration to ask first goes a long way. Even chipping in a couple of bucks to share a plate of fries could save you from looking like a jerk.

10. Being Messy
Whether you live with your parents, a friend, a roommate, or by yourself, being a slob is just a total jerk move because you’re either being a jerk to other people, or you’re being a jerk to yourself. It says you don’t value yourself or the people around you enough to keep a healthy, sanitary residence. Don’t be a jerk, pick up after yourself.