I am one of those women who struggle with being a proper lady. It’s not that my mother didn’t try and if push came to shove, I could certainly fool you into thinking I was a proper lady…for a short while until someone farted or burped. I feel that I am indeed an expert on what signals a potential “unladylike” persona. If you’re not sure then please read this list. If you see yourself, well then, congratulations you are one among millions for whom being a lady is not our forte!
Always remember that being unladylike does not mean we aren’t super sexy bitchezcuz many of us are and we don’t have to try so hard.
1. You hate shopping at the mall.
2. Heels are the devil’s invention.
3. Farting makes you laugh…fart jokes too!
4. You never buy clothes that require ironing.
5. You can proudly use the word fuck as a noun, verb, adverb and adjective.
6. You prefer to hang out with guys.
7. Bitch is not an insult.
8. Tanning is what happens when you do sports.
9. G-strings are something on a guitar.
10. Quarterbounce and kegstands are easier for you than wearing a dress.
11. You know what quarter bounce and a keg stand is…
12. You have a bad hair day baseball cap that you wear everyday.
13. You eat a lot in public.
14. Beer needs no glass.
15. Doing your hair means you need a scrunchie.
16. You will adjust your boobs without excusing yourself.
17. If it’s hot someone will know you have boob sweat because you will loudly complain about it.
18. Your purse is either a wallet on a string or an actual backpack.
19. You will threaten the umpire at your kid’s game.
20. Wine? Whiskey and vodka get the job done better.