6 Things I’m Sick of Seeing in Horror Movies

1. The girls punished for turning down a guy. In every horror, there is a girl who says no, and she’s one of the first to get killed. It’s like the director thinks the audience will celebrate the murder of her because she didn’t want to date the protagonist. Find another reason to bump her off!

2. The stupidity / bad decision-making. In Scary Movie Carmen Electra is running from a bad guy and sees a gun, a knife and a banana. She chooses the banana. It’s funny because in every horror movie, the protagonist has a moment of sheer stupidity or just bad decision making that makes me want to throw my popcorn at the screen.

3. The people who don’t speak up that something is odd. These people will see strange footprints in the snow, or blood on a doorknob, and shrug before going on with their day. They don’t bother to tell the other people that something is seriously out of place.

4. The gore. At this point, we’ve seen the grossest stuff in the world. I think it would make more sense to make the story more interesting than the blood more intense.

5. The inability to get a signal on a mobile phone. Though there are no doubt gaps in cell coverage IRL, it feels so forced that every time a victim could easily call for help, he can’t get through. Maybe have him lose the phone instead. It would be more believable.

6. The lack of motive. I want a believable reason that dude went on a killing spree or aliens are torturing those poor girls.

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