This is Sisu. He kept breaking into a dollar general to steal this purple unicorn. He tried so often they had to lock the doors and call animal control. Before the responding officer took him to the shelter, she bought it for him. Now he, and the unicorn, have been adopted. 14/10 pic.twitter.com/hjGpdwpHdg

— WeRateDogs® (@dog_rates) March 27, 2021

When a boxers said he will knock me out because I’m a mma fighter pic.twitter.com/EjSeudMeQM

— Derrick Lewis (@Thebeast_ufc) December 19, 2019

Hero hero hero hero hero https://t.co/r8ehc4bK5r

— Kurt Schlichter (@KurtSchlichter) March 28, 2021

LOL pic.twitter.com/vYUfSvLiE9

— James Lindsay, Donald Trump of intellectuals (@ConceptualJames) March 25, 2021

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A post shared by Jay Brewer (@jayprehistoricpets)

How to Get Rich (without getting lucky):

— Naval (@naval) May 31, 2018

You know what makes me feel the most empowered as a woman? It's not getting an abortion or rapping about wet a** 🐱. It's being a good housewife and cooking for my husband 🥰 pic.twitter.com/cosnGEk0Xw

— Kaitlin Bennett (@KaitMarieox) March 21, 2021

Everything is stupid https://t.co/u6IuZc2P3q

— Kassy Dillon (@KassyDillon) March 24, 2021

Do we want burning cars? Because this is how we get burning cars. pic.twitter.com/PwYUAtACzG

— Inez Stepman ⚪️🔴⚪️ (@InezFeltscher) March 21, 2021

I'm hearing it repeated as gospel truth that "nearly all" American mass shooters are white. Here are the photos of mass shooters from 2019 (defined as four or more shot in a single incident). It shows quite a diverse set of faces. #Boulder #Atlanta pic.twitter.com/z4eGq8mCiW

— Andy Ngô (@MrAndyNgo) March 24, 2021

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Paints face and hair like the Joker, goes to South Beach, climbs up on a car with an American flag, screams “Fucking COVID is over baby!” and makes it rain. #BecauseMiami pic.twitter.com/JTLEjzCZps

— Billy Corben (@BillyCorben) March 20, 2021

Strongest argument against aliens pic.twitter.com/eF2FFZpJQE

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) March 23, 2021

Records being broken left and right!

Sudario breaks the record for the fastest KO in RIZIN history, scoring a 6-second KO win against Miyamoto!

Stream the last 4 fights here:

🇺🇸 https://t.co/Mi4AiMpNGQ @livenowglobal
🇯🇵 https://t.co/KeydVIWlMN

#RIZIN27 #RIZIN #MMA pic.twitter.com/mO1Z0IVX5u

— RIZIN FF English (@rizin_English) March 21, 2021

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A 25-year-old father carried his 2-year-old daughter into an elephant enclosure at the San Diego Zoo on Friday. The man said he “wanted to take a photo with the African bull elephant.” He was arrested on suspicion of child endangerment pic.twitter.com/2XiVOx09nN

— CBS News 8 (@CBS8) March 20, 2021

How the media covers Democrats:
pic.twitter.com/4uaL6BBv8m

— Eddie Zipperer (@EddieZipperer) March 20, 2021

Please care to share…
Our planet will be a much better place pic.twitter.com/IdznF9nrC1

— Susanta Nanda IFS (@susantananda3) March 19, 2021

Joe Biden just fell 3 times in a row trying to go up the stairs to Air Force One pic.twitter.com/gTUTckUH32

— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) March 19, 2021

If Democrats get rid of the legislative filibuster, America's time as a Republic is over and a dictatorship or break-up of some sort is practically inevitable. Every person talking about this issue should be bringing this up & considering the ramifications.

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) March 19, 2021

It's true. We must have an honest dialogue about race. You first. I need my job.

— Adam Carolla (@adamcarolla) June 6, 2020