We all know that firearms are ideal for killing zombies for no other reason than because you can keep them at a safe distance as you kill them. There’s nothing more horrible than having to be within biting distance of someone who wants to turn you into lunch.
Of course, guns and ammo might not be abundant during the apocalypse, so you’re going to have to get your hands dirty and engage in some manual murder.
Here is a list of the best weapons for dispatching those hungry heathens.
Don’t look at me like that, you can buy machetes at any Wal-Mart. They’re long enough to keep a decent distance between you and the unfortunate soul at the receiving end, and sharp enough to lop the head off of any zombie. Given that the only way to make sure a zombie is dead is to destroy the brain, this is quite convenient, no? Just keep it clean and sharpen it regularly and you should be alright, as long as you don’t run into a large group of them.
2. Baseball Bat
I’m not a fan of blunt weapons, personally, but a wooden baseball bat is one of the best tools you can have. They’re heavy, they’re resilient and unlike guns, you don’t run out of ammunition for a bat. The best part? You can find them anywhere from Wal-Mart to your local sporting goods store. It’s possible that you even have one in your attic right now.
If you want to be even more deadly, punch some long nails through that sucker and have fun ripping flesh from bone.
If you live in a rural area, chances are you have a hatchet. These are super effective for zombie slayin’ because they’ve got all of the best parts of an axe (except the length) in a one-handed weapon. They’re light enough to strike in rapid succession, landing blows on enemies that don’t exactly have the coordination to block. Equip yourself with a couple of these bad boys and you’ll be hacking and slashing at hordes of rotting corpses in no time!
4. Claw Hammer
This is one weapon that has uses beyond wreaking havoc on the melons of the putrid, undead masses. Personally, I would use the claw end of the hammer to penetrate the skull and then rip downward. This motion will both rip the brain apart and force the zombie onto the ground so you can step over it and continue on your path. The major downside to this is that it requires you to be uncomfortably close to a creature that thinks you’re delicious, but when used correctly it can be extremely effective.
5. Bowie Knife
Almost everyone has a bowie knife, and they are great for stabbing and slicing. They’re relatively short (not like paring knife short, but not ideal) but if you know how to utilize them, you can dispatch a lot of zombies very quickly and with minimal effort. One quick poke through the temple and you’re in the clear. Clean it off and you can also use it to chop your vegetables! On second thought, I’d probably use a different knife.
While it might be hard to come across a katana, it is one of the best ways to defend yourself against the zombie onslaught. Sharp, long, lightweight, and easy to use, a sword is a great way to decapitate the hungering hordes with ease. As long as you keep it sharp and clean, you will be able to get plenty of mileage out of it. A word of warning, though, it’s not exactly easy to carry around, so don’t expect to be fitting into any tight spaces with your weapon.
The sledgehammer is an extremely effective weapon to use against zombies if you can get over the weight of it. In fact, I’d really only recommend strong men to use it. If you are capable of using it, however, you can crack the skulls of zombies like they were peanut shells. Of course, this isn’t a group weapon because of how long it takes to swing and “reload,” but a single zombie doesn’t stand a chance. Even if you don’t hit the head, you can cripple it by shattering the bones in the legs and run away.
8. Fire Poker
Cast iron preferably. They’re not needle sharp, but they have a point on them that can easily penetrate the temple of someone who is trying to disembowel you. They’re relatively light and can be swung quickly. They can become lodged in the skull, which is a drawback, so I wouldn’t go at a bunch of them with this weapon. That being said, if you’re looking for something that is easy to find and easy to use, this is your ideal companion.
9. Iron Pipes
Heavy and blunt, iron pipes will absolutely obliterate the soft, squishy tissues of a zombie brain. This may be something of a “specialty” item, as not a lot of household pipes are made of any kind of metal anymore for fear of rust, but if you can find one at a hardware shop, you’ll quite easily be able dispatch any zombies in your way. Wrap some barbed wire around that sucker for an added punch of pain.
Sure, you may not just have a spear handy, but you can easily make one with a knife, broom handle, and a length of rope. They’re light, long, and can be used by anyone with the ability to thrust the weapon into the neck or head of a zombie. They can be used through fences with larger openings, putting a barrier between you and the gnashing teeth of the undead. Use it to cut down the numbers of zombies surrounding your home while keeping them at a safe distance.